South African Skeptics

Puns

Hermes · 172 · 41733

Offline BoogieMonster

  • NP complete
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 3286
    • Skeptical ability: +19/-1
My son was looking up at the sky and asked my how stars die...

"Mostly overdoses"
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool


Offline BoogieMonster

  • NP complete
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 3286
    • Skeptical ability: +19/-1


[spoiler]Wrong on many levels[/spoiler]
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool


Offline BoogieMonster

  • NP complete
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 3286
    • Skeptical ability: +19/-1
My friend tried to convince me he'd glued himself to his autobiography. I didn't believe him. But that's his story, and he's sticking to it.
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool


Offline BoogieMonster

  • NP complete
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 3286
    • Skeptical ability: +19/-1
If semen determines the sex of the baby, that must mean it's gender-fluid.
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool


Offline BoogieMonster

  • NP complete
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 3286
    • Skeptical ability: +19/-1
A priest once told me I was the prettiest boy he'd ever seen, I was touched.
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool


Offline BoogieMonster

  • NP complete
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 3286
    • Skeptical ability: +19/-1
You can put a boat on your head like a hat if you flip it over: It's cap sized.
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool


Offline BoogieMonster

  • NP complete
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 3286
    • Skeptical ability: +19/-1
If A is for Apple, and B is for Banana, what is C for?
A plastic explosive.
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool


Offline Rigil Kent

  • Armed liberal
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 2544
    • Skeptical ability: +20/-3
  • Three men make a tiger.
A cowbow was annoyed with his drunken partner who decided to relieve himself in his brand new Stetson. But they finally decided to bury the hatshit.

[spoiler]According to QI, the BBC TV trivia series typically featuring an assortment of comedians as pretend-contestants, the 19th century cowboy was never outfitted with a Stetson, but rather a Derby (aka bowler) hat. The much more substantial Hollywood cranial prop commonly associated with Westerns is therefore mostly a fiction. Next they'll tell me Vikings didn't wear horns.[/spoiler]
You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold.


Offline BoogieMonster

  • NP complete
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 3286
    • Skeptical ability: +19/-1
[spoiler]According to QI, the BBC TV trivia series typically featuring an assortment of comedians as pretend-contestants, the 19th century cowboy was never outfitted with a Stetson, but rather a Derby (aka bowler) hat. The much more substantial Hollywood cranial prop commonly associated with Westerns is therefore mostly a fiction. Next they'll tell me Vikings didn't wear horns.[/spoiler]

[spoiler]Or that Napoleon was of average height..[/spoiler]
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool


Offline brianvds

  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 2075
    • Skeptical ability: +15/-0
    • Brian van der Spuy
[spoiler]According to QI, the BBC TV trivia series typically featuring an assortment of comedians as pretend-contestants, the 19th century cowboy was never outfitted with a Stetson, but rather a Derby (aka bowler) hat. The much more substantial Hollywood cranial prop commonly associated with Westerns is therefore mostly a fiction. Next they'll tell me Vikings didn't wear horns.[/spoiler]

[spoiler]Or that Napoleon was of average height..[/spoiler]

[spoiler]Or that before Columbus, everyone believed the earth was flat.[/spoiler]


Offline BoogieMonster

  • NP complete
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 3286
    • Skeptical ability: +19/-1
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool


Offline Rigil Kent

  • Armed liberal
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 2544
    • Skeptical ability: +20/-3
  • Three men make a tiger.
kill me now
You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold.


Offline BoogieMonster

  • NP complete
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 3286
    • Skeptical ability: +19/-1
I have so many composer jokes, I'll make you a Liszt!

Why couldn't the spring quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.

Why didn't Handel go shopping?
He was baroque.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A flat minor.

Middle C, A flat, and G walk into a bar. The barman says:
"I'm sorry, we don't serve minors".

"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool


Offline Rigil Kent

  • Armed liberal
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 2544
    • Skeptical ability: +20/-3
  • Three men make a tiger.
What did Schwarzenegger say when the roles where handed out for an upcoming movie about famous composers?
You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold.


Offline Rigil Kent

  • Armed liberal
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 2544
    • Skeptical ability: +20/-3
  • Three men make a tiger.
"I'll be Bach."
You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold.