South African Skeptics

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Offline BoogieMonster

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Reply #135 on: November 01, 2019, 16:14:28 pm
My son was looking up at the sky and asked my how stars die...

"Mostly overdoses"
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool

Offline BoogieMonster

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Reply #136 on: November 11, 2019, 13:40:13 pm


[spoiler]Wrong on many levels[/spoiler]
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool

Offline BoogieMonster

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Reply #137 on: January 07, 2020, 14:25:39 pm
My friend tried to convince me he'd glued himself to his autobiography. I didn't believe him. But that's his story, and he's sticking to it.
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool

Offline BoogieMonster

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Reply #138 on: January 20, 2020, 10:06:52 am
If semen determines the sex of the baby, that must mean it's gender-fluid.
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool

Offline BoogieMonster

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Reply #139 on: January 21, 2020, 09:42:00 am
A priest once told me I was the prettiest boy he'd ever seen, I was touched.
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool

Offline BoogieMonster

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Reply #140 on: February 05, 2020, 13:16:32 pm
You can put a boat on your head like a hat if you flip it over: It's cap sized.
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool

Offline BoogieMonster

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Reply #141 on: February 06, 2020, 16:45:42 pm
If A is for Apple, and B is for Banana, what is C for?
A plastic explosive.
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool

Offline Rigil Kent

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Reply #142 on: February 10, 2020, 11:00:54 am
A cowbow was annoyed with his drunken partner who decided to relieve himself in his brand new Stetson. But they finally decided to bury the hatshit.

[spoiler]According to QI, the BBC TV trivia series typically featuring an assortment of comedians as pretend-contestants, the 19th century cowboy was never outfitted with a Stetson, but rather a Derby (aka bowler) hat. The much more substantial Hollywood cranial prop commonly associated with Westerns is therefore mostly a fiction. Next they'll tell me Vikings didn't wear horns.[/spoiler]
You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold.

Offline BoogieMonster

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Reply #143 on: February 10, 2020, 11:27:40 am
Quote from: Rigil Kent on February 10, 2020, 11:00:54 am
[spoiler]According to QI, the BBC TV trivia series typically featuring an assortment of comedians as pretend-contestants, the 19th century cowboy was never outfitted with a Stetson, but rather a Derby (aka bowler) hat. The much more substantial Hollywood cranial prop commonly associated with Westerns is therefore mostly a fiction. Next they'll tell me Vikings didn't wear horns.[/spoiler]

[spoiler]Or that Napoleon was of average height..[/spoiler]
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool

Offline brianvds

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Reply #144 on: February 11, 2020, 05:17:54 am
Quote from: BoogieMonster on February 10, 2020, 11:27:40 am
Quote from: Rigil Kent on February 10, 2020, 11:00:54 am
[spoiler]According to QI, the BBC TV trivia series typically featuring an assortment of comedians as pretend-contestants, the 19th century cowboy was never outfitted with a Stetson, but rather a Derby (aka bowler) hat. The much more substantial Hollywood cranial prop commonly associated with Westerns is therefore mostly a fiction. Next they'll tell me Vikings didn't wear horns.[/spoiler]

[spoiler]Or that Napoleon was of average height..[/spoiler]

[spoiler]Or that before Columbus, everyone believed the earth was flat.[/spoiler]

Offline BoogieMonster

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Reply #145 on: February 28, 2020, 10:15:10 am
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool

Offline Rigil Kent

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Reply #146 on: February 28, 2020, 12:33:46 pm
kill me now
You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold.

Offline BoogieMonster

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Reply #147 on: March 02, 2020, 09:35:53 am
I have so many composer jokes, I'll make you a Liszt!

Why couldn't the spring quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.

Why didn't Handel go shopping?
He was baroque.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A flat minor.

Middle C, A flat, and G walk into a bar. The barman says:
"I'm sorry, we don't serve minors".

"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool

Offline Rigil Kent

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Reply #148 on: March 02, 2020, 11:24:47 am
What did Schwarzenegger say when the roles where handed out for an upcoming movie about famous composers?
You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold.

Offline Rigil Kent

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Reply #149 on: March 03, 2020, 06:55:49 am
"I'll be Bach."
You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold.

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