A great deal of my job involves driving around in a bakkie carting building materials and contractors around.
Since that is now unlikely to happen in the next three weeks, I must, like probably everyone else home-bound, and in the name of staying productive and no more insane as is absolutely necessary, try and incorporate some activities, some more earth shattering than others.
- Commit to using shorter sentences (and by extension avoid nested commas).
- Develop a novel way of breaking an egg.
- Try vegetarianism for a while.
- Spend an entire Sunday high on reefer (may well be combined with point 3).
- Finish my book, Eilene, by Ottessa Moshfegh - a strangely mesmerizing piece of prose where nothing really seems to happen.
- Play chess with the kid.
- Surreptitiously tamper with the wall clocks; perhaps setting all three exactly one hour apart.
- Weld a paper towel dispenser. Build a shelf - you can’t have too many.
- Make a database for the missus, Sqlite with LibreOffice Base as GUI.
- Take some micrographs of rotifers and other tiny thingies.
Rigil
- See how difficult it is to make a short stop motion movie using dough, C4 or clay.
(Just joking, I don’t have any clay.)
O god, shouldn’t crack one liners like that on the internet.
I’m going to work. Joy of being able to work remotely: I’m still gainfully employed. So I can’t complain, but sitting around shooting the shit does sound like it’d be fun.
Seeing as my preparations for the apocalypse are about as complete as I can get them, I’ll see if I can quickly write another cutesy kiddie’s book.
Now THAT’s a plan! And since children have the best chance of surviving this little mishap, you’ll be writing for a stable market.
May I suggest Enzo the Elephant stocks up on Parabellum Shells?
Kidding of course, but I’ve always reconned Enzo is a good name for a pachyderm.
ETA: Bloody Nora it’s been done aready! I can’t say I envy you creative types your jobs.
I wonder if 6-12 months from now there’ll be a flooding of the book market with all the people who finally got to sit at home and write “their” book.
I wonder if 6-12 months from now there will be a civilization, and if so, much of a market for anything at all. We are witnessing global economic suicide.
This morning I wrote a script for a video debut for Caxton newspapers, I’ve been asked. The last video I featured in I turned my head upside down and sounded like a witch. At least this time I’m in charge of my own camera and can redo the bloody thing a gazillion times if I have to. Script is now with editor.
I then wandered outside and set up a misting system which I ordered last year from takealot and watered my plants feeling quite chuffed with myself.
I also did two loads of washing.
I went outside (!!! rebellion !!!) the yard to go collect my now empty bin, at least they still collect the rubbish. I took the time to check my pavement garden and felt annoyed at PG because he ripped the creeper off the wall rather than trim it and now the paint is looking dreadful.
I strolled back inside and told my son I’m off for a nap and he sabotaged the idea because we have to (legislated) to have a picture of the government’s hotline and www addy on our websites. Fines for those who do not comply, so I did that. (I’m a good citizen).
I suspect I’ll go take that nap now…
Well, I said I was gonna write another kiddie’s book, and I did. For a limited time only, you can even get a PDF copy for free here:
It contains a request for donations to the Solidarity fund, but it’s not required, so at least in this case, free means free, no strings attached.
I wonder how many donations a certain mostly white worker’s union managed to get by mistake…
Wow, brianvds, that is really something special. Thanks for sharing the memorable story! Beautifully illustrated too.
Thanks for the vote of confidence. 
And I have gone and done it again:
Now that I am forced to sit at home and do nothing, I am busier than ever, and get up to stuff that many members of this board will not approve of, such as actually empowering and enabling the woo crowd with stuff like the above. But of course, my main question was whether it will sell or not, and in these apocalyptic times, I thought it was worth taking a chance. Plus, I actually had a lot of fun with all the psychedelic imagery… 
I would say you’re going to hell but, I guess not. >:D
Perhaps I’ll go to skeptics heel, which will entail having to listen to fire-and-brimstone sermons for eternity.
Well I know my personal definition of hell can be found in the Christian bible under “Heaven”.
When setting the book up at Amazon, I was tempted to list it as fiction, and as not suitable for under-18s…