South African Skeptics

Re: Religious e-mails (and the evolution of the perfect snappy comeback) - split

Midd93 · 46 · 21550

Offline Faerie

  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 2128
    • Skeptical ability: +10/-2
He wanna save our souls!! Praise the gods! When he arrives at the pearly gates he can state that he has PERSONALLY saved X amount of souls during his time on earth and it will guarantee him a golfcart and a virgin at his side to spend etirnity with....


Offline cyghost

  • Skeptically yours
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 1426
    • Skeptical ability: +12/-1
  • Carpe diem
Waitaminute... there are golfcarts in heaven??
Ei incumbit probatio, qui dicit, non qui negat; cum per rerum naturam factum negantis probatio nulla sit


Offline GCG

  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 1829
    • Skeptical ability: +8/-4
  • skeptical mantis is skeptical
    • adelehorn photography
ja,and tiger woods is your personal coach, if you dont mind him walking around with a 9 iron lodged in his skull...
I'm too old for imaginary friends


Offline Faerie

  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 2128
    • Skeptical ability: +10/-2
Waitaminute... there are golfcarts in heaven??

Read it somewhere on Rapture Ready. They even discuss the clothes they'll be wearing in heaven. You want some light humour, go read here:
http://www.rr-bb.com/

It gets a bit much after a while though, take bite-size portions.  :P


Online BoogieMonster

  • NP complete
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 3281
    • Skeptical ability: +19/-1
Quote
You want some light humour, go read here: http://www.rr-bb.com/

 (wtf!!)
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool


Offline cyghost

  • Skeptically yours
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 1426
    • Skeptical ability: +12/-1
  • Carpe diem
I'm not a fan of golf, but golfcarts are friggen awesome! I may have to reconsider this whole deal...

Unless I can have some assurance of the equivalent, you know, "down under".
Ei incumbit probatio, qui dicit, non qui negat; cum per rerum naturam factum negantis probatio nulla sit


Offline GCG

  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 1829
    • Skeptical ability: +8/-4
  • skeptical mantis is skeptical
    • adelehorn photography
down under you get strippers, drugs and sodomy.  so make sure you order lube for the afterlife.
I'm too old for imaginary friends


Offline cyghost

  • Skeptically yours
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 1426
    • Skeptical ability: +12/-1
  • Carpe diem
The question is whether I can barter my soul twice or not I guess. Strippers, drugs and sodomy does sound enticing but man that golfcart...
Ei incumbit probatio, qui dicit, non qui negat; cum per rerum naturam factum negantis probatio nulla sit


Offline GCG

  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 1829
    • Skeptical ability: +8/-4
  • skeptical mantis is skeptical
    • adelehorn photography
alas, i allready sold my virgin soul to allah back in the day.  so guess whose waiting for me when i die? 
I'm too old for imaginary friends


Online BoogieMonster

  • NP complete
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 3281
    • Skeptical ability: +19/-1
Beardy suicide bombers.  ;D

Edit: You know, for a culture so sensitive about issues of sex, they sure have some weird heaveanly rewards.
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool


Offline cyghost

  • Skeptically yours
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 1426
    • Skeptical ability: +12/-1
  • Carpe diem
Yeab but they don't have golfcarts...
Ei incumbit probatio, qui dicit, non qui negat; cum per rerum naturam factum negantis probatio nulla sit


Online BoogieMonster

  • NP complete
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 3281
    • Skeptical ability: +19/-1
"Monkey killing monkey killing monkey over pieces of the ground, Silly monkeys, give them thumbs, they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive, so misguided, is a mystery. Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven, conscious of his fleeting time here" - Tool


Offline cyghost

  • Skeptically yours
  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 1426
    • Skeptical ability: +12/-1
  • Carpe diem
Oh man, those are totally awesome!
Ei incumbit probatio, qui dicit, non qui negat; cum per rerum naturam factum negantis probatio nulla sit


Offline scrutin-eyes

  • Newbie
  • *
    • Posts: 2
    • Skeptical ability: +0/-0
He wanna save our souls!! Praise the gods! When he arrives at the pearly gates he can state that he has PERSONALLY saved X amount of souls during his time on earth and it will guarantee him a golfcart and a virgin at his side to spend etirnity with....

Who wants a girl by his side that stays a virgin for eternity   ;D  She won't be that by the end of the day  ;)

I read that they are having a shortage of virgins in heaven with all these suicide bombings and all.  Having to have 72 of them ready for these mindless fundies almost on a daily basis, they are having a hard time to replenish the stock.  I think they said there will be a rationing system soon - most probably the more you took with you when you pushed the button, the closer you will get to 72 virgins  ;)  If they run out, I suppose they will have to take those that were slightly, but gently, used  ::)

Here is a question to Mid93: were is my soul while I am alive, were will it go when I die and were was it before I were born ? 
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe  -  Albert Einstein


Offline Tweefo

  • Hero Member
  • *****
    • Posts: 1580
    • Skeptical ability: +10/-0
    • African Sky Planetaruim

I read that they are having a shortage of virgins in heaven with all these suicide bombings and all. [/quote]
You think there is a shortage now? Wait until Mr. Zuma makes his entrance. Or maybe he will go to hell.. poor sods.
If you don't agree with me you are obviously not from this planet.